


Halcyon

by Skylark



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: HeartGold & SoulSilver | Pokemon HeartGold & SoulSilver Versions
Genre: Canon Compliant, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Family Issues, Gen, Green never gets a break, Hurt/Comfort, If you only read one work by me, Illustrated, Lighthouses, M/M, Marine Biology, Second Chances, Side Kris/Silver, Slow Burn, Trauma Recovery, aka my redgreen doctoral dissertation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-02-01
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2017-10-21 21:37:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/230110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylark/pseuds/Skylark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>Sometimes the sea itself is a gift.  Sometimes the gift is something it brings you.</em>
    <br/>
  </p>
</blockquote>Ten years after HGSS, Green returns to Pallet Town to run a new lighthouse and ends up facing the ghosts of his past.
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [Halcyon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9439415) by [NoJam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoJam/pseuds/NoJam)



> Illustration credits and a link to the full size version are found at the end of each chapter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter Tags:** alcohol and drinking, friends with benefits, pining, strained family relationships

 

 

Or I could say _empty chairs, unread letters, and_  
_presents that remain unopened in one's hands_.  
  
—[Nina Suba](http://likealark.dreamwidth.org/15517.html)  


 

 

"You don't understand, do you?" Green whispers. "It's always been you."

But it doesn't matter in the end.

\--

Ten years later, Green retires from the gym and moves back to Pallet Town. They're opening a lighthouse there and they need someone to run it. They're looking for someone intelligent, reliable, adaptable—someone who is used to being alone. Luckily, Green has all these qualities, and when he applies for the position he's accepted almost immediately.

His goodbye party is loud and merry, but over and over he finds himself in one of the corners of the gym, offering tissues and cracking jokes until one of his trainers gives him a tearful smile. "It's not so bad," he says. "You guys are going to be great."

When he hands the gym keys over to Silver the next day, the crowded gym is full of expectant silence. Lance looks on approvingly, cutting an impressive figure as the two gym leaders—one former, one future—sign the official League documentation. The press is everywhere, and Silver's mouth is pressed into a thin, nervous line until Green slaps him hard on the back and winks at him.

"Don't worry about it," Green laughs later, when Silver is drunk and leaning on his shoulder, trying to apologize. "It's always been your gym, really. I was just keeping an eye on it for a while."

Green isn't upset when he loses things because he realized long ago that he's never owned anything in the first place.

\--

Eevee's eyes are bright and curious over Green's shoulder as he adjusts the weight of the box in his hands. He's whistling a tune that carries over the sound of the surf far below as he carries box after box up the winding dirt path, up the looming hill to the gleaming white tower that stands on the edge of the cliff. The top of the lighthouse is crowned with glass and a narrow balcony, the railing newly painted black.

Pallet is still at heart a sleepy fisherman's town, with its harbor lined in small handcrafted boats in a bright array of colors. But the nearby ocean, once guarded by generations of wizened sailors, is now crowded with the boats of outsiders: rival researchers who have finally realized why Oak placed his lab here and commercial fishers who want to capitalize on the bounty of the unspoiled seashore. The increased traffic to the area has brought a welcome boost to the economy, but it also means that—for the sake of those navigators unfamiliar with Pallet Town's rocky coastline—a lighthouse has become a necessity.

Green puts the last box down and fiddles with his new keys for a moment before opening the front door, his fingers clumsy from the new autumn cold. He's greeted by a billow of warm air and the smell of new construction, the sight of new paint and freshly-laid carpeting, and light spilling through the double-paned windows. They told him the place would come fully decorated, but he stops when he sees the furnishings. The simple wooden furniture is exactly like the ones found everywhere else in Pallet town, including the house where he grew up.

"Yeah," Green breathes, moving into the room to rest a hand tentatively on the sofa. "I guess I can get used to this."

He turns to see his pokémon sniffing at the banister. "Eevee, do you remember?" he says, waving her closer. When Green sits down on the couch, she jumps into his lap and offers her chin for a scratch. "It's similar to Gramps's lab, isn't it?" he says, obliging her. "I wonder if he designed this place."

Eevee gives the room a cursory glance but shows no signs of recognition; she's much more interested in Green's hands. Green sighs, tilting his head back to rest on the pillows. "Nah," he says, "Gramps would never do something like that."

\--

He stays up for the entirety of the first night, sitting beside the ampharos as her tail blinks, blinks, blinks. Her name is Lucy, and she's Amphy's youngest daughter, a present from Olivine Town.

Lucy is a patient, stolid pokémon. Her expression says that Green's presence in the beacon room is acceptable, but not necessary. Green stays anyway; they're going to be working together for a long time, he tells her, so they should get to know each other. She bows her head in acquiescence, but she still turns away.

Eevee befriends Lucy more quickly than Green does, but Eevee's not as young as she used to be, and she falls asleep curled against the ampharos's side. Lucy carries her to Green, deposits her gently in Green's arms, and retreats to her dais. The room falls into silence.

Green stares at his reflection in the polished windowpanes, brightening and dimming with the flickering light. He thinks about the past ten years, the people he knew back in Viridian, the small things he's accomplished, the challengers he's beaten and lost to. He feels a little nostalgic, but he can't say he misses any of it.

After a while, he steps out onto the small balcony that surrounds the glass room. The wind is strong here, and it brings him the rich smell of the sea as he listens to the easy rhythm of the waves. He leans against the railing, feeling silhouetted by the warm light behind him, and stares at the stars and the weak ripples of silver that mark where the ocean is.

"I'm home," he whispers to himself. It sounds as foreign as it always has.

\--

There's someone in town who he doesn't know, a girl who moved in after he left for his journey. She drops by twice a week: once to ask him what he needs and once to drop off the supplies he's asked for. He invites her in for tea but she never stays long—everyone in the town loves her and she does her best to divide her time evenly.

"Daisy told me to ask you if you wanted to come over this Saturday," she says. Then she frowns. "Why don't you come into town more often?"

"Pallet only needs one social butterfly, Leaf," he says, ducking when she swats at him.

She fills him in on the town's goings-on, but there's never enough to warrant pouring her a second cup of tea.

"Everyone talks about you, you know," she tells him as he sees her out. "I still see your face in the newspapers sometimes. You're one of the most eligible bachelors in Kanto."

"You interested?" Green says, raising a self-conscious eyebrow, and she laughs at him.

"They'll forget about me soon enough," he says with a shrug. And eventually, they do. But Leaf never does.

\--

The only other person who spends time with him is one of Professor Elm's aides, staying with Professor Oak for an internship through the slow months of the autumn and winter. When she hears that Oak’s famous grandson is living just outside the city limits she immediately pays him a visit.

"I'm Kris," she says when he opens the door, extending a hand. Her handshake is firm and cool; her eyes are a deep blue, like the ocean in the afternoon, and he finds that he likes her almost immediately. She comes over a few times a week, a thick folder always underneath one arm. She splays out her research across the floor and works, the tip of one pen in her mouth and a second pen stuck behind her ear. Green cooks dinner and they discuss her doctoral thesis, her aborted pokémon journey, his time as a gym leader, the tiny insignificant moments in their lives that don't seem to matter until they look back and realize what they've lost.

"I don't know why I gave up," she whispers into the candle-lit dark, the glass of wine warming in her cupped palms. "Professor Elm says I could have gotten all the way to the Elite Four, maybe even become Champion. But now I'll never know."

Green sits beside her on the couch, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He turns to look back at her. "Let me tell you," he says quietly. "You didn't miss much."

Kris searches his face. "Do you really mean that?"

"You're doing something you love. What's better than that?"

Kris's hand finds his; their fingers tangle together. "What about you?" she says. "Is this what you really want?"

_No,_ Green wants to say. _I've never known what I want._ Then, _No. There's nothing worth wanting._

"Yes," he says.

\--

Professor Oak visits only once.

Green steps back from the door and moves towards the kitchen. "Make yourself at home," he says. "Do you want anything to drink?"

Despite his words, he doesn't offer to take his grandfather's jacket or scarf. His grandfather is forced to wait, his shoes sinking into the rug, until Green comes back with two glasses of water. Professor Oak doesn't seem to notice, though. He takes the glass absent-mindedly, his eyes roving around the walls and windows. Green stands beside him and takes a long sip of water, waiting until Professor Oak's eyes return to him.

"Hi," he says.

His grandfather looks taken aback, and then cracks a smile. "It's good to have you home," Oak says, and Green can hear how the words tread that fine line between truth and lies. Green's smile turns brittle.

"It's good to be back," Green says, bending to set his glass down on the table. "How's the lab?"

"Fine," Oak murmurs, staring at the ocean outside the window. "How are...things? Are you settling in well?"

"Well, it's not the gym," Green says carefully, watching Oak turn at the last word, "but it'll do."

His grandfather looks at him, his question unasked but obvious. Green's smile disappears.

"I wanted to do this," Green says softly. "And if you don't like it, you can fuck off."

Hurt flashes across Professor Oak's face. "I didn't—there's nothing wrong with being here, Green," he says, and the sincerity in his voice makes Green pause.

"You should come visit the lab," his grandfather presses in the sudden silence. "Kris has brought some fascinating new pokémon from Johto, you might—"

Green shakes his head. "Gramps," he murmurs, "I stopped playing this game a long time ago. It's about time you did, too."

Professor Oak shakes his head as Green takes the glass from his hand and escorts him to the door. "Green, I—"

"I'm just the kid you didn't want," Green whispers. "And you know what? I forgive you. But that doesn't mean we're friends."

Green leans against the closed door, holding his breath until he hears his grandfather's shuffling step retreating down the hill.

\--

"Sometimes I think you stay over just to see Lucy," Green says. Once again he has woken up to find Kris already bringing Lucy breakfast.

Kris turns to him with a smile, arms around Lucy's neck. "I like her," she says. "She's a Johto girl, like me. Isn't that right?" she says, cuddling the ampharos, who gives a little burble of contentment.

Green picks a dirty plate up off the floor and hands Kris a brush. She takes it with a smile and begins to comb the sparks off of Lucy's rubbery hide. "Silver's from Johto too, isn't he?" Green asks. "Do you know him?"

The brush slips from her hand, but she manages to grab it before it clatters to the floor. "—You know Silver?"

"Yeah," Green says, eyebrow raised. "He runs my old gym now."

"He—" Kris blinks. "I used to know him when we were kids—that's how I met Professor Elm." Kris gets to her feet. She's looking at Green, but her mind is obviously somewhere else. "Where did you say he was?"

"Viridian City Gym," Green says, not sure if he's amused or dismayed by the sudden intensity of her expression. "But he's probably not awake yet."

"Perfect," Kris mutters under her breath. She bids him a quick goodbye and clatters down the steps.

Lucy gives him a bemused look. Green sighs and follows Kris downstairs, the empty plate in his hands.

\--

He keeps the schedule he had when he was a gym leader except for a few necessary modifications.

He wakes up before dawn, takes care of Lucy after her long night of hard work, and then lures Eevee awake with bits of breakfast. After they're both dressed and fed and ready for the day, Green pulls on his old bomber jacket and they make their way down the slender trail cut into the cliff and onto the beach.

At dawn, everything is colored in shades of gray. There's never anyone else on this part of the shore: everyone sticks to the beaches closer to town, where it's safer. The lighthouse shore is studded with jagged, volcanic rock and the waves break too hard for anyone to swim here.

Pallet is a southern town, but even at the height of summer the ocean is so cold that it cuts right to the bone. In the winter, the water is brutal. It took Green years as a child to work up resistance, and now he spends months regaining what he's lost. He takes off his shoes, rolls up his pant legs despite the winter wind, and wades into the surf. His path traces a weaving line across the beach as he plays casual tag with the waves, in and out.

His other pokémon like to wander far up and down the beach, almost out of earshot. Eevee, his constant and only companion, jumps and splashes beside him, too well-insulated to mind the cold. She paddles out and surfs back in on the waves, her cheerful cry almost drowned out by the roar of the ocean. Green occasionally worries when he loses sight of her amidst the rocks, but eventually he learns to trust her to her own devices.

Sometimes he brings a ball with him, and throws it so Eevee can chase it into the surf; sometimes he brings an extra bit of breakfast, or a book. But usually he just puts his empty hands in his pockets and walks until his calves go numb. Every day he finds that he can go in a little bit deeper, that he stays on the beach a little bit longer.

Winter settles in around Pallet, and outside of their morning walks Green spends most of his time indoors, gazing out the window with one hand stroking Eevee's fur. Both she and Lucy upstairs are dozing, and combined with the muted ever-present sound of the ocean, it feels as if he's the only one awake in the world.

He hasn't really relaxed since he took over the gym ten years ago—maybe even longer than that, maybe not since he was a child. It feels strange. He doesn't know if he enjoys it, but he can't deny that he's grateful for the rest.

He takes a deep breath, slow and weighted with the quiet of the house, and allows himself to do nothing. 

\--

He's standing on the high balcony with Kris, with the late-night sky above speckled with winter constellations. She turns to him with the light reflecting in her ocean-blue eyes and he kisses her, and kisses her, and closes his eyes when her mouth opens beneath his.

Green's hands curl around her back to pull her up against him, the kiss deepening until her breaths turn shallow and her fingers tangle in his hair. The heat of her body is a welcome respite from the cold air. His mouth searches out more of it, moving to her jaw, her neck, nipping down to her collarbone, her familiar sweet scent rising from her jacket as he noses beneath it.

"Silver," she breathes, and then her eyes fly open. They both freeze, staring at each other for a moment before Green bursts out laughing.

He pulls away, shaking his head. His hands fall away from her sides and he settles one awkwardly on the railing. "Sorry," Kris murmurs, her deep blush spreading all the way down to her shoulders.

Green shakes his head, reaching out to pull her jacket back into place. "Don't worry about it," he says. "Is that why you haven't come around as much lately?"

Kris nods, head still bowed. The smile fades from his face, and he sighs as he loops an arm around her shoulders and tilts his head to bump hers, lightly. "First girl I've liked in over a year," he says conversationally to the ocean, "And I lose her to Silver."

"There's nothing wrong with Silver," she protests.

"Silver's a great guy," Green says, "But he's not someone I ever expected to compete with." His chuckle fades. "Oh well," he murmurs. "You find rivals everywhere."

\--

Kris leaves a few weeks after that. She stops by the lighthouse to say goodbye, saying she'll be back to finish her research next autumn.

"Have a safe trip," Green says, giving her a hug. "Keep in touch, all right?"

Green watches until she vanishes down the hill, then heads back inside. He feels like he should think something trite now—like how it will be quieter without her, or how much he'll miss her—but nothing comes to mind. He's always known she was going to leave.

\--

Leaf arrives a few days later with two milkshakes in her hands. "Let's go for a walk," she says. Green takes the cup she offers him and escorts her to the dusty nature path that threads along the edge of the cliff. The edges of the trail are starting to blossom with new spring green, and Leaf kicks at stray stones as they walk, her straw tucked between her lips. 

"So Kris is gone," Leaf says.

Green looks away, out over the ocean. "Yeah."

She watches him for a moment. "Well, you've still got me," she says, "So don't worry about it."

Leaf fills in the conversation with chatter: the massage techniques she's learning from Daisy, the towns she's visited while running errands for Professor Oak, the terrible jokes she's picked up along the way until Green finds himself chiming in just to minimize the damage. Soon they're swapping stories until his sides hurt from laughing and the milkshakes are gone.

When the trail ends, Leaf stops him before they can turn back. "Gimme your phone," she says.

"What?"

"Just give it," she says, plucking it off of his belt and punching in her number. As she returns it to him, she says, "You know...if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always around."

Green's quiet as he takes his phone back from her. His silence lasts so long that she turns away, biting her lip, but Green lifts his head and gives her a small smile. "Hey," he says. "Thanks."

She smiles at him, relieved.

"But if you give away my phone number like my sister did," he says, "I will seriously hurt you."

"I would _never_ —"

"Seriously."

She laughs, slipping an arm around his shoulders. "Your secret's safe with me," she says.

\--

A storm has passed during the night. The morning arrives bleaker-looking than usual, the air heavy with the promise of more rain later that day.

Eevee's acting a little different this morning, too. She's walking ahead of him, her fluffy tail lifted up out of the water. Green keeps an eye on her as she pulls further away, but he stops every now and then to pick up the pieces of driftwood scattered on the beach and hurl them back into the surf.

This storm was the first of many, he thinks, as they draw closer to monsoon season. In a few months the lighthouse will be even more important than before, guiding storm-hurled ships away from danger. He might have to spend a few more late nights with Lucy to making sure nothing goes wrong, but overall, nothing will probably change.

Suddenly, Eevee freezes, and Green looks up. Then before he can say anything she breaks into a run—crying, _shrieking_ in a way Green hasn't heard in over ten years, and before he realizes it he's sprinting after her.

As he gains on her, bare feet pounding against the packed sand, he sees a gray shape that he's never seen on the beach before. His pace quickens. The shape comes into focus—it's a pokémon. A pokémon and a person. A lapras, and a man sprawled half across its back, unmoving. Green's breaths come harder as he flies across the beach, passing Eevee, until he sees a tattered red vest and his heart stutters and feels like it stops.

Green finally reaches him, skids on his knees in the sand and rolls him onto his back, pressing his ear to his mouth to listen for breathing. When he feels it, he jerks back to see if it's really true or if he's just hallucinating.

It's true. His cap is gone, his face is thirteen years older and weathered with lines that weren't there before, but he's real.

Green scoops his body up, cold and limp but undeniably alive, and presses him to his chest. He curls over him as Eevee finally catches up—burying his face into Red's neck and breathing in the overwhelming smell of the ocean, taking in great deep gasps until he feels like he's dissolving into it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration by [Iggiesca-Asdy](http://iggiesca-asdy.tumblr.com/) // [Full Size](http://imgur.com/nsrsYfW)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Chapter Tags:** hospitalization, grief, near death situations, family issues/drama, a lot of crying
> 
> This fic is complete and will update bi-weekly (three more parts after this one).

  

  

Tell me how do you undo these years of bone knowledge,  
these ways I loved you without even knowing it?  
  
—[Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1938912349/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1938912349&linkCode=as2&tag=artandlies-20)

  

  

"I came as soon as I heard—"

"Good, so I don't have to go over it again," Green interrupts, turning away from the door. Leaf follows him into his house, eyes widening: Green has flung every drawer in his house open. "I have to go for a while," he says, not looking at her. "Can you look after Lucy and watch things here for a day or two?"

He walks toward his bedroom, turning to grab his jacket from the hallway closet as he goes. Eevee follows without getting underfoot, and Leaf trails behind them both.

"What do I need to know?" she says.

"Not much; Lucy knows what to do. You can stay in the spare bedroom. The ocean forecast looks good, so it should be fine...but if Lucy gives you an alert, gimme a call and Alakazam can teleport me back."

Green turns to shove some clothes into a battered suitcase. Leaf murmurs, "It's him, isn't it? The champion who vanished years ago."

Green pauses, his hands clutching a black shirt. He realizes that he's shaking—that he hasn't stopped since he burst into Gramps' lab on his arcanine's back, screaming for help with Red a slumped and unmoving weight in his arms.

"I don't expect you to understand," he says quietly. "But I can't lose him again."

Leaf doesn't say anything. Green shoves the shirt into the suitcase and slams it closed, half-sitting on it to get it to shut. He blinks when Leaf comes over to help, pressing both her hands against the hard leather top.

"It's not hard to understand, really," Leaf says. "I'll take care of Lucy."

Green flicks the clasps shut and turns to her. She gives him a half-smile and he leans his head against her shoulder, letting someone else take his weight for just a moment. Then he pulls away.

"Thank you," he says, his tone artless with gratitude, his eyes full of fear. "I hope I'll be back soon."

"Safe trip," she replies, and follows Green outside. He calls out Pidgeot and she waves until Green is a speck in the sky.

\--

Red is hospitalized at Saffron General. Green visits near-constantly, wearing himself thin on high altitude trips and convenience store meals. He regrets giving up the gym leader position more than ever; if he were in Viridian he could close the gym and no one would care, and he'd be closer to Saffron besides.

But if he weren't the lighthouse keeper, would anyone have been on the beach that day? Green paces outside the ICU door, eyes downcast, one hand resting on the foreign poké ball at his waist.

(He explained to Eevee that pokémon weren't allowed in the hospital, would she mind staying at the hotel? She cocked her head for a moment before vanishing into her poké ball without protest; Green hadn't even thought to ask.)

He's not the only visitor. When Red's mom first sees him, she opens her arms without saying a word. Green is shocked by how fiercely he hugs her, and by how tightly the embrace is returned. 

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

"Thank you for finding him," she whispers back. She releases him, her cheeks wet with tears and her mouth set in a firm line. She was always strong-willed: even as a kid, Green never dared to cross her. Red had the same unflappable demeanor, the same unyielding core.

They sit in the waiting room, shoulders touching. Warm yellow light glows from the shaded lamp in the corner, and the chairs are well-upholstered. Green's insides feel like a tangled mess, and his throat is tight from crying.

"I'm scared," he admits.

The hand that rests on his is more wrinkled than he remembers but still just as soft. "Me too," she says, and knowing he's not alone makes him feel better, somehow.

"You're a good child," she says after a minute. "You always wrote home while you were traveling. Daisy would tell me when you said hello."

Green reddens. "That was a long time ago," he says.

She nods. "It was, wasn't it? You've grown up," she says. "You and Red both. I don't know what happened...to either of you, really." She takes a deep breath. "But you're both home now. That's all that matters."

\--

The ICU only allows two visitors to a patient's room at a time. Green is sitting by the window, reading, when he hears a knock on the sliding door. He looks up and Professor Oak steps inside.

Green puts his tablet down.

His grandfather glances at him and then away again. He lifts a hand in greeting, a halting, awkward gesture, before turning towards Red. Green watches his eyes rake over the multiple IV lines, then the numbers and waveforms on the monitor above Red's bed. Professor Oak's brow crumples in thought, making his profile look grave and impressive. It's a look Green associates with peeking through a crack in the door into his grandfather's study, watching him pore over research data. It turns his stomach to think of him looking at Red that way.

"He's doing better today," Green blurts. His grandfather startles and turns towards him slowly, as if he forgot he was there. He's shocked by the raw pain on his grandfather's face before his expression smoothes over.

"Is he?" Professor Oak says, and his voice cracks a little. He turns away, a fist to his mouth as he clears his throat. Green stares at the wrinkles around his eyes and the shape of his shoulders beneath the worn lab coat. He realizes for the first time how old his grandfather is. His hair has gone from salt-and-pepper to almost totally white.

"The nurse said his vital signs are looking better," he says. "They've been giving him antibiotics and stuff to keep his blood pressure stable. He still has a long way to go, though."

Professor Oak nods, but now that they're looking directly at each other, Green sees a flicker of confusion in his eyes. "What's wrong? This not your area of expertise?" Green says, unable to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

His grandfather ducks his head. "You started helping me with my research when you were just a boy," he says. "I would think you would know better than anyone that I don't know everything."

Part of him wants to avoid his grandfather like he's been doing for years and walk out of the room. But Professor Oak stands between him and the door and besides, Red is here—it would take more than his grandfather to shake Green from his place beside him. So Green folds his arms and leans back in his chair, a familiar irritation winding itself up inside of him like a spring. His grandfather's back straightens at the look on Green's face, and Green smiles without mirth.

"Be honest," he says. "You're not happy to see me here, are you? You wanted to see the kid you really wanted as your grandson, instead of me."

There's a long pause.

"I'm aware that you're not happy with me," his grandfather says carefully. "But Red was your rival. Your friend. You..." he clears his throat, and tries again. "The grandson I have is someone who cares about those who are close to him. I'm glad to see you here."

Green rolls his eyes. "You don't have to praise me," he says. "What the hell."

Professor Oak frowns at the language but doesn't reproach him for it. Green feels a little disappointed.

"I knew you were the one who recommended me for the Viridian Gym," Green presses. "Lance told me. You know what he said? 'You should accept your grandfather's peace offering.' I guess that's how it looked to other people." He gives a sharp bark of a laugh. "After Red beat me, you shuttled me off to your researcher friends in the Sevii Islands, but they didn't want me either. Viridian's close to Pallet and I knew you just wanted me close by, to make sure I didn't embarrass you any more. But I did pretty well all by myself, didn't I? I turned that shitty, run-down gym into the strongest gym in Kanto. I made the Earth Badge worth something again.

"So what if I decided I didn't want to live inside your handout anymore," Green spits, his breath coming fast. He doesn't remember standing but his hands are balled into fists at his sides and his grandfather is approaching him slowly with his palms up, as if he's a wild pokémon. "So what if I decided to give up my position and run a goddamn lighthouse. You don't have to pretend that you're proud of me. It's just us here, right? Red's unconscious anyway. There's no one to keep up appearances for. So just tell me the truth, Gramps," he says, and his voice shakes so badly that it's hard to get the words out. His grandfather is still coming closer and he doesn't know what he wants, he's never known what his grandfather wants, and he's tired of trying to figure it out. "You were never afraid to tell me how disappointed you were when I was a kid. Go on, Gramps, tell me what you really think."

There's only a step of space between them now. Professor Oak's hands hover in the middle distance between them, fingers outstretched but not touching. "I have only ever wanted what's best for you," he says. His voice is thin and trembling. "For God's sake, Green, you're my grandson. You and Daisy were the only family I had left after your mother died. Don't you think I care about you?"

"No," Green whispers, "I don't."

He flinches, but continues. "I know how much the championship meant to you. I wanted to shield you from the media and the pressure—I sent you to the Sevii Islands to recover from that. But I also wanted to show you battling wasn't all there was to pokémon."

"You thought I deserved to lose the championship," Green snarls. "You thought Red deserved to beat me."

Professor Oak's mouth tightens. "I won't lie to you," he says. "I did. But it was because you still had so much to learn. There's so much more to life than winning or losing a title. Both you and your pokémon deserve more. Red's a natural genius with pokémon, but he couldn't have restored the Viridian Gym like you did. I nominated you because I knew what you were capable of. You're intelligent and passionate, and I've always known life had great things in store for you. No one has worked harder or loves pokémon now more than you, Green," Professor Oak says, "and I am so proud of you for that."

"When I lost the championship, I just wanted to come home," Green says, unable to stop the hitch in his voice. "I wanted to come home and you didn't even want me there."

Professor Oak's expression crumbles. He steps forward and pulls Green into his arms, squeezing him so tightly it hurts. Green just lets him, vision blurring as he stares straight ahead at the empty doorway. They're in a hospital, he thinks. They're in public. He shouldn't be acting like this. But he can't bring himself to push his grandfather away. He can't stop himself from shaking.

"I'm sorry," his grandfather whispers in his ear, his voice low and urgent and fierce. "I'm so sorry."

Sometimes Green looks in the mirror and sees the lines of his grandfather's face in his own. It used to infuriate him; now it just makes him feel tired. He thinks he sees some of that exhaustion mirrored in his grandfather's expression. It was the same when he woke up on the three year anniversary of Red's disappearance and realized he was the only one keeping track. When he realized there was no witness to his grudge but his own ego.

He thinks again of Red half-buried in the surf. When he first saw Red after he was transferred to the ICU, he was barely recognizable. Green reached out to touch him and it felt so strange, his hand swollen with IV fluids, a limp weight in his palms; but still, there was a flicker of motion at the touch.

He had been waiting for him, Green thinks. He had been waiting all this time.

Green takes a deep, shuddering breath, and then another. "Please let go of me," he says.

His grandfather immediately steps back. "I'm sorry."

"No, no." Green can't look at him anymore. "I...wanted to hear that. I just...it's a lot to process."

Professor Oak glances down, a hand rubbing over his face. "Yes. That's true. But I meant every word, Green." He sighs, looking up at him again. "My only regret is that I never said these things to you sooner."

Green shakes his head. It's too much, he's too emotionally raw to handle any more input right now. "I'm gonna go," he says. "You'll stay with Red, right?"

His grandfather's brow is furrowing again. "You're pale," he says. "Will you be all right?"

"I'll be fine," he says. "I'm gonna lie down, though. I didn't sleep much last night."

After a pause his grandfather nods, still watching his face. "Make sure you eat something first," he says. "You have to take care of yourself."

"I always take care of myself," Green sighs. "See you later, Gramps."

The nurse ignores him when he steps out of the room. He doesn't know if they overheard, or if they even cared if they had. They probably see all kinds of family drama, anyway.

He gets outside and calls out Eevee, who takes one look at his face and leaps into his arms, covering his cheeks in tiny kisses until he gives an exhausted chuckle. "Thanks," he says. "I needed that. Keep me awake until we get to the hotel, okay? I feel like I'm gonna fall asleep just standing here...jeez. Gramps didn't have to spring that on me."

His voice is annoyed, but his steps feel lighter than they have in years.

\--

The news of Red's return breaks eventually, of course. Green notified the League once Red was admitted to the hospital so they could prepare. Indigo Plateau responded by releasing a carefully crafted statement, _...recently returned from an overseas trip, critical but stable condition, please respect his family's wishes for privacy at this time._

Leaf sends him a selfie with her back to the lighthouse's window balcony, a few curious reporters on the ground below. don't say anything you'll make it worse, Green replies as fast as his fingers will type. Then, belatedly: Sorry about this.

lol nice to know you put me first, Leaf says. don't worry tho. I got it under control.

Meanwhile, Silver complains that the gym's voicemail is full of reporters asking for Green's contact information. _I don't want to be in anyone's shadow,_ he sends in an e-mail.

 _Just tell them to get off your lawn,_ Green responds. _You're an old man now, just like the rest of us gym leaders._ He's a little stung that being Red's biggest rival doesn't seem to count as family, but he can't say he's surprised, either.

Lance calls to ask how Red is doing. "Of course you'd want to know, huh," Green says. "You don't need to worry, though. He's not going to be challenging Ethan for a while."

Lance chuckles. It's a soft sound, and it surprises Green every time he hears it. "That's the least of my concerns, Green. Red is important to all of Kanto, of course, but more than that, I have always considered him a friend. Of course I want to know how he's doing."

Green's mouth pulls to the side in a flat line, feeling chastised somehow. "The nurse says Red's doing better today. They took him off some of the drips he was on. Hey, how are Red's pokémon? I haven't heard about them since…"

"Oh," Lance replies, "pokémon are hardier than us humans—they've made a full recovery. Your grandfather offered to house them at his ranch until Red is feeling better."

Green's voice lowers. "What about Pikachu?"

"Pikachu too," Lance reassures him. "And don't worry, I'll update everyone else on Red's status. Thank you for doing this, by the way."

"Doing what?"

"Acting as the contact point for Red's loved ones."

Suddenly self-conscious, he shrugs even though Lance can't see it. "It's nothing," he adds dryly. "You know me, I love being the center of attention anyway."

Lance's voice softens. "Speaking of you...how are you doing?"

"I'm fine."

"This must all be quite hard on you," he says, so gently that Green feels his throat tighten. "I understand that you're the one who found him."

"I'm fine," Green repeats, but his voice gives him away. He pulls the phone away to grimace at it before returning it to the cradle of his shoulder.

Lance waits another moment, but Green doesn't say anything. After the silence goes on for long enough to become awkward, Lance clears his throat and continues. "We've worked together for the last decade," he says. "I would not forget the time we spent together so easily. Of course I'm interested in your welfare as well."

"You always get so formal when you don't know what to say," Green says.

"Yes," Lance replies dryly, "as you've pointed out to me many times in the past."

Green laughs. "I'm glad you've lightened up some over the years," he says. "Thanks for asking about me."

"It is nothing," Lance says, the warmth of his voice clear through the phone. "Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you all."

\--

The last message of the day is the first to make him stop short. Are you okay? -Kris

In a moment he's dialed her number and pressed the phone to his ear. It takes longer than expected for Kris to pick up, considering she texted him moments before. He hears the rustle of papers, a distant "oh!" as if the phone has nearly been dropped, before Kris's voice rings out. "Elm Labratory, Kris speaking!"

"Hey," he says, suddenly nervous.

He hears a quick intake of breath as she recognizes his voice. "Oh! Hey," she replies, sounding just as out-of-place. "It's so weird to hear your voice."

Green snorts. "Thanks a lot."

"Oh come on, stop it, I don't mean it like that! It's just like...it feels like I've gotten a letter from far away, or something. It's kind of exciting."

"Oh yeah? Was my voice so sexy that it made your heart pound?" he says, grinning.

She just laughs at him. "But seriously, though! We haven't spoken since I was in Pallet, right?"

Green swallows. "Yeah. Long time no chat."

"I'm sorry," Kris says. "I should have called—"

"No, no," Green interrupts. "It takes two to talk, right? I didn't call either. How are you?"

"I should be asking you that," Kris says.

Green sighs, glancing out the window at the twinkling Saffron skyline. It never really gets dark here, and while Green is somewhat used to that from living in a lighthouse, the steady sweep of Lucy's light is different from the LED brilliance that lances in through the hotel room's parted curtains. "I don't know," he says. "It's...it's hard to explain."

"I've got time," she says.

Suddenly reminded, Green looks at the clock and winces. "Oh man, it's like three in the morning. I'm sorry."

"I'm the one who texted you," she retorts. "Besides, did you already forget that I'm a noctowl? I'm keeping an eye on some of Elm's projects overnight, so I was kind of bored, honestly. What's up?"

It helps, somehow, that Kris is being a little flippant about it. It's easier to talk if he knows the other person isn't _worried_ about him or worse, pitying him.

"I really can't complain," Green says, "I mean like, Red's mom, god, she stays with Red in the hospital every night and only sleeps for a few hours a day when Gramps and I force her to. But she's still so calm somehow, listening to everything the doctors say, thanking everybody for taking care of her son. We're covering her hotel costs and stuff while she's here, and Daisy's minding the house, but it's nothing compared to what she must be going through. I...kind of like spending so much time with her, though. I mean, I wish it was under different circumstances, and I guess it's a bit weird since we're not even related, but I think I missed her. But sometimes she catches me—"

Green stops, biting his lip. After a long pause, Kris says, "She catches what?"

His teeth worry at his lower lip and then sink in, hard and suddenly, trying to curtail his racing thoughts. _Catches me looking,_ he doesn't say. _Catches me thinking about how I—_ "He was gone for thirteen years," Green says. "He wasn't into letters or phone calls, and besides, I didn't have a lot to say to him after...well. I didn't want to talk to him. And it's not like it was a big deal...just one day I looked up and realized I hadn't heard from Red in six months. I tried to call him and couldn't. I asked Daisy and she hadn't heard from him either. He just...vanished. 

"Ethan mentioned seeing an amazing trainer on Mt. Silver but when I went, I didn't find anything. But I figured, whatever, Red gets in my way all the time, of course he'll show up again. I thought he would come knocking when I became gym leader, you know? Show up and challenge me for it, or something. But he didn't."

Green realizes that he's rubbing at where his neck meets his shoulders, subconsciously trying to soothe himself. He forces himself to stop. Kris is still silent, so he swallows once and continues. 

"It's not like I haven't been busy myself, you know," he says. "I'm pretty awesome. Staying the top gym leader in Kanto isn't easy. Team Rocket tried starting something in Viridian three years after Giovanni disbanded the whole thing, and I kicked them out of town. I did a lot of regional tours, too—goodwill trips and stuff...but still. It didn't feel right.

"I never told anyone, but they offered me a position in the Elite Four," he says. "I told them I didn't want it. I actually yelled at Lance for offering it to me. 'I wasn't good enough to be champion, so you want me to sit around and pick who's gonna be champion instead?' I said. 'Are you going to rub that in my face forever?' You know what Lance said to me? He said, 'Green, the only one who's still thinking about that is you.'

"And he was right. To everyone else, that stuff was ancient history. But then...then I realized, I'd…" Green stops to take a shaking breath. "I'd never gotten over Red. It was like I was still 14 inside, waiting for him to show up at my gym, waiting for him to come after me again. _I wanted him to._ I didn't know what to do without Red following me. That's what I realized. I was sitting around, waiting for some asshole who was never going to show.

"So I quit the gym."

His voice is wobbly, so he stops talking for a minute. He can hear Kris breathing on the other end, slow and even. 

He could imagine what she'd be doing if she were here next to him. She'd be staring at some scientific journal in her lap, one hand fiddling with a highlighter. It would look like she wasn't paying attention. But slowly, if he let the silence go long enough, her free hand would sneak out and settle over his. She'd tilt her head to rest on his shoulder. She'd never turn toward him, not once, because she knew if she did he'd stop talking. She'd never look up from her paper. But he'd have all of her attention.

Right now Kris is probably watching test tubes bubble in Elm's lab and writing down numbers, or something. But she's listening. And because he knows she'll stay on the line until morning if that's how long it takes, he opens his mouth again.

His voice is small.

"I knew he was out there somewhere," he says. "So I never worried about it. I just figured he didn't want to put up with some loser who couldn't accept that he was always gonna be second best. I mean, who has time for someone like that, right? But Red—when I found him—he was—" his voice breaks again and he forces it louder, to drown the shaking out. "He was just lying there. He could have died. He could have died and if I wasn't there, if the lighthouse hadn't been placed _just_ where it was—if nobody was there to find him, I could have lost him, just like that.

"How could that happen? How could he—I ignored him because I thought nothing would happen if I did. But I could have lost him. I would have spent the rest of my life not even knowing he was dead. That scares the _shit out of me._ I didn't even—I didn't even think he was something I could _lose._ I didn't realize I thought of him as something I had in the first place. I just wanted—I want Red to wake up," he whispers into the phone. "I want him to wake up, and I want him to look at me, and I never want him to leave ever again."

Green is tired of crying. At least this time there's no one around, and he knows the person on the other end of the line would never look up until his tears were dry. Just as he expects, Kris doesn't say anything until the last of his hiccups subside.

"You love him, don't you?" Kris says.

"I don't know," Green says miserably. "I think I still hate him."

Kris laughs. "I don't think you hate him, Green."

"I hate him!" Green snaps but it sounds like he's whining, even to his own ears. "What kind of idiot tries to _surf across the Hoenn Ocean?_ I can't believe he's _still_ this stupid and irresponsible, always taking risks, always—I want to shake him—he could've stayed where he was and _out of my life—_ "

"But you're glad he's home, right?"

"It was easier when he was gone," Green says, sniffling. "God, this is awful. I can't even think straight."

"Drink some water?" Kris suggests.

"Yeah, you're right," he mutters. "Okay. Hold on." 

He puts the phone down for a few minutes. When he comes back, he sounds a little better. "Okay," he says again. "Sorry."

"Feeling better?"

"I'm used to well water," Green grumbles. "City water tastes weird."

"Okay, good," she replies. 

Green sits down on the bed, his free hand rubbing at his temple. He can tell that he's going to have a headache in a minute.

"Do you remember Leaf?" he says. 

"Yeah, I do. I like her. How's she doing?"

"She takes care of Lucy for me while I'm in Saffron. The lighthouse seems to be doing fine. But she lives with Red's mom. She took over the room Red used to have when he was a kid. So when Red's well enough to leave the hospital…I mean, Leaf offered to find a new place, but it's kind of short notice, and Red's mom doesn't want to kick her out, anyway—"

"I see," Kris says. "What are you planning to do?"

"Who says I'm planning anything?" Green snaps. Kris doesn't bother replying, and Green sighs. "I was thinking about asking Red to stay with me in the lighthouse while he gets better. The doctors said he's going to need a lot of physical therapy after he gets out. But it would be weird of me to offer, right? I mean, he's not my family or anything. That's probably weird."

"I don't think it's weird," Kris says. "He's your childhood friend, right?"

"It's weird when you put it that way," Green mutters.

"You grew up together," she says. "It makes sense that you'd want him to get better. You have the extra space, so why not? It'd be easier than asking Leaf to move out all of her stuff, and I know she helps Red's mom around the house a lot too. I think it's a good idea, actually."

"Really? You don't think it's...I don't know. Desperate," he says, wincing.

Kris laughs. "You think way too much," she says. "It's a good solution to an important problem. You might as well give it a shot. Besides, it'll give you time to admit that you love him."

He can't help but flinch. "Now you're just making fun of me," he grumbles.

"Are you feeling better?" she asks, not denying it. He can hear the smile in her voice.

Green sighs. "Yeah, I am," he says. "Thanks, Kris."

"Any time," she says. "You're important to me too, you know." For the first time in the conversation, her voice sounds awkward. "I get so caught up in research...I don't really have a lot of friends. So I think about you a lot. You can call or text any time, okay?"

Green takes a deep breath. "Okay," he says. "I'll text you more often. And I guess I'll ask Red's mom tomorrow and see what she thinks about Red staying with me. It'll still be a little while until he's ready to leave, anyway."

"Sounds like a good plan," Kris says. "You should get some rest."

"Yeah. Good night."

"Good night, Green."

After she hangs up, Green flops back across the bed, one fist pressed against his forehead. His mind is already turning with all the preparation he has to make if he wants to fix up the spare room for Red. 

Red living in his house. The thought feels like a soap bubble, too new and fragile to hold, and he closes his eyes against an irrational wave of fright.

"You're not a kid anymore," he tells himself. "You're an adult. Fucking act like it."

He gets ready for bed and buries himself under the covers, but it takes a while before sleep comes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration by [AJ (thehauntedboy)](http://thehauntedboy.tumblr.com) // [Full Size](https://www.imgur.com/9x9Coj7)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Chapter Tags:** trauma recovery both emotional and physical, abuse survivors, nonbinary original characters

  

  

When I hesitate to hold your hand,  
it is because to know is to be responsible for knowing.  
  
—[Mindy Nettifee](http://likealark.dreamwidth.org/31233.html)

  

  

No one is waiting for Red in Pallet. They didn't announce his discharge date, and their families are returning from Saffron at a more sedate pace. When Green and Red teleport into the center of town, it's empty.

Red looks around from his seat in the wheelchair, squinting from the sun. After a moment, he lifts his hand to cast shade across his face.

"Miss your hat, huh," Green says. 

Red doesn't reply.

Green is standing ready behind the wheelchair, but Red's in no hurry, so Green supposes he isn't either. Instead he watches Red as he looks around, surveying thirteen years of change. Viridian is close enough to Pallet that Green kept up with the modifications: new paint on the window shutters, the mailbox Daisy put up three years ago, the bench that was installed after the lighthouse was built. The heart of town is largely untouched, but Pallet is larger than even two years ago, swelling with new construction that has pushed the town limits outward. As children, the tall grass brushed their ankles as they played in their backyards, but now trainers have a much longer walk to reach Route 1.

"Well," Green tries again, "welcome home."

Red is still silent. He looks toward the lighthouse, its white paint brilliant in the mid-afternoon sunlight, interrupting the clear line of sight to the ocean that Green remembered as a child.

"Yeah, that's where I live," he says, pointing. "You too I guess, at least for now. Do you wanna check it out?"

Red stares at the lighthouse without answering. The humidity creeps beneath Green's collar, and he drums his fingers against the wheelchair's plastic handles. Patiently, Green waits a full sixty seconds before he sighs and nudges the wheelchair a bit. The brakes are locked so it only rocks forward a little, but it's enough to make Red jump and turn to stare at Green.

"Yeah, hi," Green says, "it's me, the person you've been ignoring for the last five minutes. Can we go inside? Teleporting always takes it out of me and I'd like to go home."

Red frowns, his hand falling from his forehead to pinch at the brim of a hat that isn't there; then he catches himself. He twists in his chair until he finds and unlocks the brakes.

"Great," Green sighs. "All aboard the lighthouse express."

He pushes Red up the long hill. Green's not out of shape, and Red's underweight from his hospital stay, but Green is still panting by the time they reach the front door. He swings it open and nudges Red inside, hissing as the wheels catch on the carpet.

"I should've asked for hardwood," he grumbles, shoving at the wheelchair until it's parked next to the sofa. "You thirsty?"

Red shakes his head no but Green brings him a glass of water anyway, remembering that Red always wanted ice. He sets the glasses on the coffee table and flops onto the sofa with a sigh.

"So..." he says, pausing to clear his throat. "This is the living room, kitchen's over there, bathroom's there, your bedroom's over there with mine right next to it," he says, pointing. "The beacon room's upstairs. I set up your room, though it's not like you had much."

The room slips into strained silence until Green's restless hands brush the strange poké ball at his belt. "Oh," he says, letting Eevee out. Immediately she licks Green's nose and then bounds off the sofa to greet Red, hopping into his lap and nuzzling his cheek. 

He smiles, and it's his first real expression since they arrived. Red pets her in all her favorite spots, and Green wonders if it's because he remembers or because he's so good at reading pokémon.

"You'll be able to see Pikachu later, too," Green says. "Gramps says he'll bring him over."

Red's hands twitch in Eevee's fur. He gives Green the same look he's been casting ever since he woke up: something between suspicion and confusion, as if trying to suss out an ulterior motive. Green bristles when he sees it but refuses, this time, to be the one to break the truce.

"I'm gonna tell Lucy we're back. Holler if you need me, I guess," he says, but Red doesn't respond. He only nods and returns to petting Eevee.

Green sighs and climbs the staircase, whistling for Lucy.

\--

Physical therapy works with Red three hours a day, six days a week. Red is always out of breath, and he wears Green's clothes until his mother buys things that fit—when he came home, all she had were boxes full of an eleven-year-old's things. When Green does the laundry those first few weeks, he's disoriented by the foreign scent that clings to familiar fabric.

Red works at tossing large inflatable balls back and forth, or trying to hold his arms in place as the therapist's nidorina gently pulls against them. Sometimes all he does is stand up, wobbling as his trunk muscles relearn how to hold his own weight, while the physical therapist and Nidorina form a protective ring around him. It's hard to notice progress from day to day, but as weeks pass, he does get stronger.

The air turns humid as the rainy season looms. The physical therapist takes advantage of the last few days of good weather to work with Red outside when possible, saying the ocean air is invigorating. When Green heads into town, Eevee always knows when to turn back and help take Red inside, which makes Green wonder just how good her vision really is.

"It's Nidorina," the therapist tells him, grinning, when Green asks. "She waves at your eevee and the sun flashes off her poison barbs." After that, Green squints when Eevee starts running back to the lighthouse and sees a scattered gleaming in the distance.

Nidorina gets along well with their pokémon: play-wrestling with Pikachu, combing claws through Eevee's fur, high-fiving Green's machamp. But Green built his life around pokémon and their body language, and he sees how carefully she restrains herself. He looks at her more closely and finds faint scars all across her hide.

"She's a rescue pokémon," the physical therapist explains when ze catches Green staring for the fifth or sixth time. "She was part of a fighting ring the police busted. I work with pokémon, too—that's how we met. I wasn't looking for a partner, but life has a strange way, you know?" Ze presses a kind hand against Nidorina's head and she lifts her chin to nose against it, whuffling. "She only knew how to fight, but now she knows lots of other things, too. I like bringing her to work with patients because she reminds them anything can be overcome. You just have to work hard."

Nidorina teaches Green how to help Red move from place to place: bracing Red's knees with his own so he can't fall forward and slinging Red's forearms over his shoulders. The position brings them close together, as if they're dancing. Red's eyes rake across his face before they both look down at the floor to stay balanced. The position allows Green to take some of Red's weight and they pivot together, feet shuffling, until Red can sink down onto the sofa, or his bed, or a kitchen chair for breakfast. The touch is purely functional, the two of them focused on the effort of moving. Green grows accustomed to the sudden grip of Red's hand on his bicep, its strength slowly increasing as the days of physical therapy pass.

When he helps Red into bed, the hardest part is maneuvering him from a sitting position to a supine one. The first night it takes half an hour; Green ends up climbing into Red's bed close to the headboard and dragging him up the mattress until his head is roughly where the pillows should go, and the effort makes his back hurt for two days. The next day Machamp places him in bed, but Red looks so annoyed (and Pikachu sparks with such obvious jealousy) that they never do it again. When the therapist visits for the first time, ze teaches them the proper way to get someone into bed: Green swings Red's legs onto the mattress while Red turns his upper body, hands flailing as he tries to catch his weight against the bed and push himself. Pikachu jumps onto his chest as soon as he's settled, and both of them watch Green as he tucks a pillow under Red's head. Green always stares back; he's still not good at backing down, not really.

Green has never touched someone as much as this. The closest experience he has is when they wrestled as children, and even those memories were papered over with anger as they got older and the tussling changed to all-out fighting. Thinking back, he finds he can't remember many details. He remembers pushing with all his strength against what felt like an immovable object. He remembers that sometimes it hurt. But he doesn't remember what Red's skin felt like or how Red sounded when he laughed. He has no idea what to expect now, and no way to reconcile those memories with the new ease with which he enters Red's personal space and is never rebuffed.

Red whispers "Thank you" every time he's settled in a new position, his voice thin with exhaustion. "Don't mention it," Green replies. Still, Red continues thanking him until Green looks him in the eye and says, "No, seriously. Don't mention it."

Red lapses into his accustomed silence after that, but sometimes he holds onto Green for a moment longer than he has to. Green wonders if he remembers too, if he also feels the sensation of new exploration across once-familiar terrain.

Red graduates from the wheelchair and starts using a cane instead. Green starts being alert any time Red is on his feet, waiting for signs indicating he needs a shoulder to lean on or help to sit down. Red often overestimates himself and sometimes it leads to Green sliding him right onto the floor. He trembles as he grips Green's forearms, face flushed. He won't look at Green, keeping his narrowed eyes fixed on the kitchen tiles.

Green wiggles his arms until Red lets go. "Red," he says, "you've got to take it easy sometimes. This isn't a race."

Red's eyes flick up to his and Green recoils from the fury he sees there. But after a moment he realizes that he's mistaken—it's frustration, not anger. Green blows out a short surprised exhale.

"You're not used to this, are you?" he says. "You've never had to learn something from scratch before."

Red gives a jerky shrug. "Pikachu wouldn't talk to me for the first three months," he says. "This is faster."

"But not easier," Green presses.

Red is silent for a moment and then sighs, irritated. "No."

"This is what everything felt like for me."

Red looks at him, leaning his weight back against his hands. There's a twist to his mouth, the dismissal that Green's so used to. He feels a flare of temper but stomps it back down.

"I was a gym leader for a year before I could talk to my pokémon like you. You could talk to Pikachu after you'd had him for three months." Red's eyes soften, and the lack of resistance makes Green pause. "I just...I've loved pokémon my whole life," he says. "Pokémon were all I thought about, and then here comes my best friend who just _gets_ them, without studying, without even trying...I don't know. It's just weird to have our roles reversed."

Red doesn't say anything for a long moment. Green scratches at his cheek, trying not to frown.

"Are you happy that you can do something I can't?" Red asks.

Green stares at him. "Of course not."

"I wasn't either."

Green blinks rapidly. He tries to turn away but Red cranes around to follow him, maintaining eye contact.

"Am I really your best friend?" Red asks next.

"Who else would it be!" Green snaps, and now he really is blushing. He covers his face, but he still feels the heat of Red's gaze on his skin, like sunlight.

When he speaks again, Red's voice is softer. "Even after all this time?"

"Who else would it be," Green repeats, barely louder than a mumble. He doesn't resist when Red reaches out to pull his hand away from his mouth, one finger at a time.

"Me too," Red says, and the surprise in his voice can't mask its honesty.

\--

Leaf visits like always, though it's two weeks before she comes in like usual. "I don't want to, you know. Intrude," she says, her eyes flicking over Green's shoulder when she hears Nidorina's short bark of approval.

Green raises an unimpressed eyebrow. "You always barged in before."

"Yeah...but Red's, you know. Famous."

"So am I," Green points out.

"For your horrible fashion sense, maybe," she retorts, but she's too distracted for her words to have any bite.

Green sighs and reaches for her wrist. "Just think of him as your roommate," he says. "I mean, you live in his old room now, don't you?"

"That's even worse," Leaf complains, but she doesn't resist when Green pulls her inside. He herds her toward the kitchen and she leans against the counter, arm folded across her body to tap her nails against the opposite elbow. Green grabs the kettle off the stove and fills it with water from the sink. "Hey, Red," he calls, "this is my friend Leaf."

Red looks up from the weights he's lifting and Leaf cracks a smile, giving him a little wave.

"It's, uh, nice to meet you!" Leaf says. "Your mom's told me a lot about you."

Red's forehead shines with sweat, and his breath is a little fast as he hands the weights to Nidorina and gets to his feet. "Hi," he says. "Do you like pokémon?"

"I love pokémon," Leaf says, eyes lighting up. "I help Professor Oak with his PokéDex sometimes. I heard you came from Hoenn? Did you find any new pokémon there?"

Red nods and breaks into a smile, a genuine one that makes him look ten years younger. He leaves the living room with an unusual hurry in his step and returns with a battered PokéDex in his hands, the only possession that survived his ocean trek.

Red's physical therapist looks at Nidorina and then at Green before bursting into laughter. "Maybe we should come back tomorrow?"

"Yeah, probably," Green agrees.

Leaf shakes her head. "Wait, no, I didn't want to interrupt anything—" but then Red shoves his PokéDex into her hands and turns it on.

Green walks the physical therapist to the door, giving Nidorina a pat on the head before they go. "Sorry," he says.

"No, don't be," ze says, grinning. "Friendship is an important part of recovery, too."

Green returns to the living room and finds Leaf scrolling through the map on her own PokéDex, showing Red the pokémon spawn locations that have changed over the last thirteen years. Green fetches his old, battered town map and spreads it across the floor so they won't have to squint at such a small screen. The three of them hover over it, pointing out various places and talking about the pokémon they've seen there.

Red points at Mt. Silver, half-obscured at the side of the Kanto-only map. "I trained there," he says. Green looks at him, startled, remembering when Ethan told him about a powerful trainer years ago.

"Ooh, we don't know too much about the mountain," Leaf says, not noticing the look on Green's face. "The pokémon there are too strong! What was it like?"

Red nods. "Quiet," he says. "I liked it. Blastoise had trouble with the cold at first."

"You were that close by?" Green says.

Red looks up, frowning at the sharpness in his voice. He shrugs. "Not for long."

"Did your mom know?"

"I told Professor Oak." He looks at Green without flinching, watching the expressions play across his face. "He wanted to know about the diamond dust. I asked him not to tell anyone."

Leaf glances back and forth, frowning at the sudden tension. "Um. I'm going to make some more tea," she says, and retreats to the kitchen.

"You could have visited while you were there," Green says once Leaf is gone. "Or did that not even occur to you?"

Red's eyes flick down. "You didn't want to see me."

"Sure, make it my fault," Green snaps. He starts to get up but is stopped by Red's hand on his arm. He freezes in place, thigh muscles protesting, before he settles back onto the ground.

Red licks his lips and bites the tip of his tongue, his eyes scanning back and forth as he searches for the right words. "You were angry," he says. "I was angry too. But I didn't want to fight anymore." Red's last words are a low mumble. "I didn't want to make you cry again."

Green scrubs a hand across his face, making a low frustrated sound. "I thought you hated me," he says. "I thought you'd finally had enough of me."

Red's grip slackens until his hand falls back into his lap. "Me too," Red whispers.

In the kitchen, the kettle begins a plaintive whistle. Green hesitates, then sways sideways to rest his shoulder against Red's. Unlike the weeks of rehabilitation, this touch has no excuse to hide behind. Red breathes sharply but doesn't pull away.

"I still want to yell at you," Green mumbles. "But what's the point? I...I'm tired of being angry."

Red nods. He tilts his head towards Green until their temples are touching, his eyes focused on the middle distance—his listening look.

"I'm glad you came back.”

"I wanted to," Red says.

Green's voice softens even more. "I missed you."

He can hear the tiny, quiet noise as Red swallows. "Yeah."

"What kind of tea do you want?" Leaf calls too-loudly from the kitchen, and they break apart. There's a look on Red's face that he’s never seen before, soft and knowing, and it makes Green's heart pound.

"Um, the usual," Green answers, his voice only wavering a little. "Red likes apple." 

Red follows Green to the kitchen. The conversation returns to lighter topics—changes to the Safari Zone, the newly christened S.S. _Anne II_. Halfway through the conversation Red's fingers migrate across the counter to tap on the back of Green's hand, a deliberate arrhythmic pattern. Green doesn't try to pull away. 

Leaf notices and catches Green's eye for a long moment. Green inclines his head—half acknowledgement, half challenge—and his shoulders relax when she smiles.

\--

According to the physical therapist, Red gets better at an alarming rate. It takes less than the month the doctors predicted before Red is training with his pokémon again, though their exercises have been modified by the physical therapist.

Red doesn't need to use the cane anymore. He steps outside under his own power, tugging his cap straight on his head. The air is humid and hot, the sky overcast. Green follows a moment later, not bothering to lock the door behind them.

His awareness of Red's body hasn't faded, even though Red doesn't need much support anymore. "How're you feeling?" he asks.

"I want to see where you found me," Red replies.

Green's smile drops but Red keeps staring, his face as calm and serious as always. Green's eyes flicker toward the cliff face and the glimpse of the ocean beyond it.

"The way down is narrow and kind of rough," Green says. "You'll have to be careful."

It takes twice as long as usual to get to the isolated beach. Red goes first so Green can pull him back if he slips, but he finds his caution baseless. Red has become accustomed to his current stamina and paces himself well. Pikachu and Eevee reach the bottom far ahead of them and Red pauses often to watch them play, as if the sight encourages him to continue.

Green watches him take careful handholds of the rock face. He recognizes a few of the grips from rock climbing, but it’s clear that Red knows way more than Green ever learned on his hiking trips with Brock.

"You traveled a lot, huh?"

Red casts him a flat look over his shoulder.

"I don't know, I mean," Green amends. "I knew you were in Hoenn and that you visited Johto but I never really...I guess it didn't hit me until just now. Were you traveling the whole time? All thirteen years?"

Red pauses, knees bent for stability with one hand gripping the rock wall. "It didn't seem that long," he murmurs.

When they reach the beach, their leisurely pace lingers. Green hasn't visited the shore since he found Red, and he can't stop glancing over his shoulder as the lighthouse dwindles into the distance.

"Where else did you go?" Green asks. The question roils his stomach with nerves, but he wants Red’s answer more than the comfort of ignorance.

Red hunches his shoulders. The wind whips off the ocean, making his collar flutter around his neck. "All over," he says. "Sinnoh. Faraway Island. Orre." Ahead of them Eevee leaps into the surf, going under briefly before popping up again. She shakes her head and mane with a happy cry. Pikachu lingers on the shore, looking back at Red.

"I learned a lot," Red adds.

They pause so Green can kneel down and take off his shoes and socks. Like Eevee, he feels better once the shock of cold water splashes against his skin. "I traveled too, you know," Green says.

Red nods. "I heard about you sometimes. I was glad you got to visit Kalos. You were always trying to speak French when we were kids."

Green groans. "Don't remind me. My accent’s terrible, but at least I can kind of speak it now." 

Now Red looks interested. "Yeah?"

Green rolls his eyes. _"Oui,"_ he says, "and that's all the French you're getting out of me, so don't fish for any more."

Red's eyelids droop with mock disappointment, but he's smiling.

They slip into silence, listening to the ocean rush across the beach. Eevee rides the surf back in and runs to Green, shaking water in sheets from her fur. Pikachu, still dry, hops into Red's arms, and the three of them follow as Eevee leads the way.

After another five minutes of walking, Eevee sits down at Green's feet. Green stops and clears his throat.

"It was here," he says, looking down at the ground.

Red pauses beside him. It takes Green a few moments to sift through the bone-deep fear that rattles him like a passing train. The memories flood back: the cold weight in his hands, the soaked and tattered cloth. But he takes a deep breath, and the moment passes.

He feels Eevee leaning against his ankles, purring, still damp. He looks up to find Red gazing across the water, mouth pressed into a thin line. Red looks down at the sand, where Eevee is, before turning to the weathered cliff at their back. Nothing differentiates this place from the rest of the beach, except...

Red walks forward until the ocean soaks into his sneakers, though he doesn't seem to mind. Pikachu flicks his long ears once before huddling further into Red's arms, one eye peeking warily at the ocean. Green doesn't move beside Red this time. The sight of him silhouetted against the sea makes fear close his throat, but he only straightens his shoulders in response.

After a few minutes Red turns to him and nods. "Let's go back."

"Yeah," Green answers, voice catching halfway through.

Red's expression flickers from concern to realization. He walks towards Green until Pikachu takes up the only space between them, until they're breathing each other's air.

"Red," Green starts, but he doesn't know what to say. He's still not used to the intensity of Red's gaze. It used to anger him, but now it makes him blush.

They maintain eye contact, awkwardly in each other's space, until Green says, "Hey, wait. Are you taller than me now?"

Red leans back, blinking. He shifts Pikachu to one arm and raises a hand to the top of his head, then brings it across towards Green. It barely brushes Green's spiky hair.

"Oh my god," Green hisses, "you _are._ "

Green slaps Red's hand away and lunges forward, chasing him down the beach, shouting incoherent threats as Red grins. They slow when Red stops to catch his breath and Green pulls up beside him, his last swing changed to a heavy thump against his back.

"Let's go home," Green says, echoing Red. "It's hot and I could use some water."

"Yeah," Red agrees, hands braced against his knees and his shoulders heaving. He looks up at Green, bright-eyed and smiling, and Green can't help but grin back.

\--

"This is about business," Professor Oak's phone call begins. The statement abates Green's nerves some, but not much. 

"Sure," he replies, then clears his throat. "What's up, Gramps?"

"I don't know how up to date you are with the latest research, but several studies indicate that many pokémon’s migration patterns are shifting due to climate change." His voice adopts the dry lecturer's tone that always makes Green sleepy. "We're seeing some pokémon here we've never seen before. In particular, the tynamo spawning grounds have moved just offshore of Pallet Town."

Green blinks. "Yeah, I heard the fishermen in town talking about that. Eelektross are pretty cool; I mean, a pokémon with no type weaknesses? I've always thought about training one."

"That dovetails nicely with my question, actually," Professor Oak says, voice brightening. "We're gathering a research team to survey the surrounding ocean and I thought, well, you're the lighthouse keeper now, which makes you a leading expert on the Pallet shoreline. I was hoping you’d join me on this project, to protect my research team. You'd be able to get a closer look at the eelektross you're interested in, as well."

Green doesn't respond for a long moment.

"Green? You still there?"

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm here. I just...well, honestly, I'm kind of surprised you'd ask me at all." 

"Of course I'd ask you, Green," Professor Oak says. He sounds surprised and a little sad. "You're one of the top trainers in Kanto."

There's an uncomfortable pause until Green clears his throat. "Eelektross are pretty territorial, right? Monsoon season's coming, too—the weather will boost their power and give them an advantage."

"Yes, it’s dangerous, but researchers have been trying to understand the eelektross life cycle for two hundred and fifty years!" Professor Oak insists. "It’s the chance of a lifetime. We're collaborating with several research teams but my team is heading the project, of course."

"Of course," Green repeats, voice dry. 

"We know the risks," Professor Oak says soberly. "That's why I'm asking for your help, Green. I know I can count on you to keep my researchers safe." Green doesn't say anything, so he continues, "I know your first duty is to the lighthouse, and you’d be doing this as a favor. If you don't want to, I understand."

Green bristles. "Hey, I never said I _wouldn't_."

"Really?" Professor Oak's voice softens. "You'll think about it?"

Green realizes what he's considering—helping his grandfather with a major project, when two months before he couldn't even look at him. He blows a disbelieving breath into the phone. "Yeah, Gramps. I mean, there’s not much I can do about a typhoon, but I'll think about it. Sounds like a hell of a trip, if nothing else."

"All right, then," Professor Oak replies. "I'd appreciate it, Green. Thank you."

"...I have to go cook dinner. Say hi to Daisy for me, all right?"

"I will. Talk to you soon?"

"Yeah. Talk to you soon, Gramps," he says, surprised he means it.

\--

"You know," Green says, "you and Red look kind of similar."

A box of homemade pork buns sits on the bench between them. Leaf makes a face before she takes another bite.

"Please," she says. "I'm way cuter."

Green rolls his eyes. "No, it's—I don't know. Something about how you hold yourself. And you both like traveling."

"If I could look like anyone who liked traveling, I'd pick Cynthia," Leaf retorts. "Speaking of, did you see her photoshoot in _Trainer’s Weekly?_ Her swimsuit is _so cute._ "

"Do I look like the kind of person who reads gossip magazines?"

"Trainer's Weekly isn't a gossip magazine! They've even had articles about _you,_ you know."

"Like I said," Green huffs. "Gossip."

Leaf rolls her eyes and bumps his shoulder with hers. "I'll ask Daisy to show you the photos later," she says. "Anyway, tell me more about Red. I guess you think he's as cute as me?"

Green snorts. "Cute isn't the first word I would think of, no."

"Handsome? Super hot?"

Green chokes on his next bite. Leaf helpfully pounds him on the back. When he can breathe again, he looks up to find Leaf grinning at him. In revenge, he swipes her drink and takes a few slurps to clear his throat, ignoring her protests.

"I don't know why you keep harping on this," he mutters.

"You're _childhood friends,_ he's living in your _house,_ Pikachu let you _pet him_ yesterday—"

Green hisses at her to be quiet, glancing around to see if anyone is watching. No one is, of course; Green is a common sight in town these days. "It's fine like this," Green says with a tone of forced patience, the same tone he uses on himself when he feels his temper fraying. "Red's not going anywhere for a while, anyway."

Leaf looks at him. There's pity in her gaze now, and Green looks away, drumming his foot against the ground. "You think he's going to leave again?"

"Look, I don't want to think about it," Green sighs. "Can we talk about something else?"

Leaf gives him a knowing look and almost does what he wants. "You should come by the house," she says. "It must be hard for Red's mom, walking to the lighthouse all the time."

"Red goes to visit her sometimes now."

"I didn't say Red," she answers. "I said _you_ should visit. Daisy comes on Thursdays for dinner. Red can come too, if he wants."

Green shuffles his feet. "Well, it's not like I can say no when you put it that way," he grumbles.

Leaf beams. "Bring dessert," she says, and gets to her feet. "Tell Red I said hi, okay?"

"Tell him yourself," he says, but Leaf just waves over her shoulder as she walks away.

\--

Red leaves most of his food untouched again.

Green's hands hover for a beat before he picks up Red's plate. He doesn't look at Red, turning to set the dishes by the sink before returning for the glasses. In response, Red shoos Pikachu from his lap and stands to fetch the towel looped around the refrigerator handle.

"So do you just not like my cooking?" Green blurts out, pausing with a half-washed dish in his hands. "I mean, I'm not the most amazing cook or whatever, but I've never had any complaints from—" He pauses mid-sentence, realizing that the only people he's ever cooked for are people he was dating.

He clears his throat. "Just give it to me straight," he says instead. "You've never pulled your punches before."

Their backs are to each other, Green at the sink and Red standing over the kitchen table, wiping it down with slow, sure strokes. Lucy's light is already spearing through the twilight outside, and Green counts the time by its measured blinks. Eevee is up there with her, paws against the glass as she watches the sunset; it's her favorite place in the evening.

The silence feels like a weight on Green's shoulders. He drops a handful of clean silverware onto the drying mat, and the chiming of metal cuts through the room.

"It doesn't taste bad," Red murmurs. "I can't eat a lot of it."

"What's wrong with it?"

Red falls quiet again. Green closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before picking up another plate.

"Mom invited us for dinner," Red says. It's not exactly a deflection; Red is talking around the topic, as he does when searching for the right words. "I don't know if I can eat that either."

"Huh." Green sets the plate on the drying mat with much more care than the silverware. He remembers Red was a picky eater when they were young. "Is it your stomach?"

Green turns from the sink in time to see Red's quick shrug and the uncertain twist of his mouth.

"But my food tastes okay?" Green presses.

Red rolls his eyes. "It's fine."

It's faint praise, but Green feels better anyway.

\--

"Oh, Green," Red's mother says, voice tinged with laughter. "You made pasta with cream sauce? There's no way Red could eat that. It's too heavy. Here, I'll teach you something he can eat."

She hands him rough-skinned taro, calls it _bongkukan,_ and teaches him to peel it under warm running water so the stinging oxalate crystals don't stick to his skin. She simmers a fish head to make the broth and drops in heaping handfuls of bok choy, diced onions and chunks of ginger, chopped-up green beans that were once as long as his forearm, narrow eggplants and lemon slices. "It's not quite authentic, but Red likes it anyway," she says.

"How'd you learn to make this?" Green asks, his mouth watering from the amazing smell that wafts from the pot. Red's mother gives him an amused look.

"Everyone back home knows how to make _sinigang,_ " she says. "It's what the poor people eat. But it's healthy, and the fish we get here is fresh from the ocean, so that makes it taste very good."

The stew is sour and savory all at once, perfectly matched by the rice it's poured over. Red eats two bowls, but Green doesn't feel slighted because he does too. He's sitting by Daisy and Red is beside his mom, and their eyes lock over the table. Red's eyes are bright, his cheeks flushed from the heat of the food. He picks out pieces of fish and slips them to Pikachu under the table, and it's such an old habit that no one mentions it. (In polite company, Eevee is too well-mannered to beg for scraps, as Pikachu does; she sniffs in the direction of Green's bowl and then waits for her meal later in the kitchen.)

"You know," Green says, "You came here so long ago I forgot you're not from here."

Daisy shoots him a look as if he's said something rude, which, upon second thought, he...kind of did. He winces, but Red's mom is already answering him. 

"I always thought it was such good luck when we moved here and found another boy Red's age," she says. "You and your family always went out of your way to make my son feel welcome. It made me feel welcome, too." She beams at him. "I may not have been born in Kanto, but it's my home now. I'm sure Red feels the same."

Green looks at Red, thinking about thirteen years of travel. Red pops another bite of sinigang into his mouth and reaches for Pikachu, running his fingers between his large ears, not flinching at the hello spark Pikachu sends in return. Red traveled the world, yes, but his pokémon are all from Kanto; he took them with him everywhere he went. He nearly killed himself trying to get back to Pallet. He's shown no sign of restlessness in the time he's been here.

"Do you think you're going to stay for a while?" Green asks. The table falls into a hush, but Red doesn't notice. He finishes chewing, swallows, and then meets Green's gaze.

He nods once, sharply, then goes back to eating. Green lets out a surprised breath, feeling his fists unclench.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration by [Ciura](http://ciusdrawings.tumblr.com) // [Full Size](https://imgur.com/Wl0R37o)


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